Ah, I love the Mamas and the Papas. I always think of their song on Mondays.
***Zeb and Zelda***
You never do know what might become of a Monday morning.
This morning has been a busy day between getting the cow milked, the chickens fed, the horse and calf fed, and feeding the sheep. Oh yeah I fed the children too. Everybody and everything was hungry this morning.
The sheep were fed and the ewe, Sarah, is starting to "bag up". She's making milk, so I expect her to lamb within a few days. Of course the weather was beautiful yesterday but it's getting cold today and tomorrow. At least it's not snowing right?
Fletcher, the dear toddler boy, has spent this entire morning figuring out ways to get his diaper off. I have spent too much of my morning figuring out ways to keep the diaper on him. He can be a real stinker sometimes.
The baby chicks will be here early tomorrow morning so Journee and I have been gathering the supplies needed to get a brood box going. I always love getting baby chicks in the mail and must make sure I get lots of sleep tonight so that the exuberance of my young ones doesn't send me into over load. Baby chicks in a family with many kids can, at times, lead to over stimulation:-)
My seedlings are emerging and growing. Starting heirloom seeds is slightly more difficult than regular, hybrid seeds but I think the payoff is greater. Today I will get my tomato seeds into some soil and wait for the miracle of their germination.
***Heirloom peppers growing near a sunny widow***
This afternoon we have piano lessons and weekly grocery shopping followed by cooking dinner and getting kids bathed and ready for bed. In a few minutes I am going to start some school work with the kids.
All of this to say that sometimes I feel inadequate. Truly inadequate. Last week I was talking about reinstating my license for respiratory and going back to work a couple of nights a month. I can attest to the fact that doing ventilator checks and giving breathing treatments is easier than my typical Monday plus you get a nice paycheck for the work.
It was just frustration and doubt creeping into my head. It emerges itself every now and again, making me think the work here at home is questionable. Usually it happens after I pay my mortgage and remember that my name is not on the loan. I have no credit. I'm just a mom. I'm just a dairy farmer and a gardener. I'm just a shepherd and a chicken processor. I'm just an educator and a bee keeper, a baker, an activist, a friend. I'm a bunch of things, a menagerie of talents bundled up into one.
Shame on me for thinking any of these things are without merit. This Monday, as hectic as it has been (Fletcher just dumped out a ton of play dough and math blocks all over the floor), has been a Monday to appreciate and realize all that goes into maintaining a large family, a farm, a busy home.
I share this because I know that I am not alone in this journey. I am not alone when those moments of self doubt creep around. Grab life by the horns and make your mark.
*** Kickin back and enjoying my stinker***
Never let those negative feelings win. Change your perspective and open your eyes to the possibilities that sit in front of you, the moments waiting to be seized, and the talents that would have been buried deep had you settled for an easier road.
Inadequate is a word that doesn't belong in this home, or your home. Be the super version of yourself today...and every day.
Monday, Monday...................enjoy that day:-)
Awesome post. Too right what you do is not just adequate, it is the foundation of our society and community. Everything you do each day changes and improves the lives of not just your immediate family but of those all around you. One rock can make ripples across a whole pond. A pay check is a red herring when it comes to weighing up the worth of your job and efforts. Just look at the jobs we pay so little for and the ones that make big money... so backwards. Regardless, thank you for today's post. Today, and yesterday, and many days before I have felt very inadequate, and it is good to be reminded, that everyone, even super women like you!, feel a little doubt every now and again, but still you find a way to keep doing the incredible job you do. I hope you have lambs soon. Our goats have kidded, and I'm starting to think that I should have stuck with sheep. Just as cute and only half the mischief!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the great comment. I always said I wished for a neighbor with goats:-) I think they can be stinkers too. Here's hoping for a lamb soon!!!!
DeleteThank God for Tuesdays. And cotton candy.
ReplyDeleteAre you bringing me cotton candy?
DeleteI love this post! You're right about those moments of self-doubt that all mothers, working and SAHM, experience. I find motherhood to be the most challenging, stimulating, rewarding job I've ever had-- and there's still so much to learn!!
ReplyDeleteYou are *just* a LOT of things, all of which are FABULOUS and AWESOME (and lots of times overwhelming)!
ReplyDeleteGrace and peace, sister. :)
I love this post. Great reminder!
ReplyDelete