You Think You Are Pro Life?

Over the weekend we kept 3 foster children (ages 4,4 and 18 mos) to offer respite to the foster parents of these kids.
This means I had my children plus three more. This gave me 6 children ages 6 and under to care for, but I am happy to announce we survived.

 *My two biggest helpers goofing off!*

It also gave me perspective, as in 7 kids are easy to care for in comparison to 10! It literally took both me and Devin to keep track of everyone. These kids were very bright and well behaved. I credit this to their foster parents who seem to be doing a great job.  Here are some challenges we discovered with foster children.

1. These kids were hyper focused on food! Because they were basically starved by their biological parents, food is something they like to always have around. If ANYONE in the house had a food or drink item, then these kids felt they had to have it also. We went through a few dozen bananas keeping little hands filled with something portable to eat! This was something I have read about in many fotser/adoption books but had never seen it first hand.

2. Sharing was difficult and there was a good amount of sibling rivalry. I am again not used to this behavior. Sure my kids have moments when they don't want to share, but not consistently. I do not know if this behavior is a result of a hard childhood or daycare. Maybe both? At any rate, we had to remove some toys completely if the children fought and refused to take turns. It seemed to help.

3. These kids liked to yell to get their point across or to just fuss at us. They had to reminded on many occasions that ugly talk and yelling was against the rules of the house.

By Sunday evening we were all exhausted! This weekend required all of the energy from every single member of the family! We were happy we did it but it did bring to my attention how disruptive fostering is to your entire household. I really hold foster parents in high esteem. They sacrifice much for the care of these children.

*One day, when I have spare time, I am going to up-cycle these coffee bags. What to make?*


This experience also brings to mind the idea of being pro life.

Here are some statistics from 2010:
Number of children in foster care: 254,375
Average age: 9.5
Avg length in system: 25 months
Waiting for adoption: 107,011
 (with avg time in system of 37.3 months)
48% of foster children reside with non-relative foster caretakers

Average number of abortions per year in the US: 1.3 million

  Now I like to think of myself as pro-life. I believe life begins at conception. I do not like abortions, they kill living babies. I know many, many people preach the pro-life stance.

Consider this. Doesn't pro-life go beyond saving an unborn child? You can rejoice all day that a young, un-wed mother decided to not abort and to instead keep her baby. Pat yourself on the back too, if you wish. Consider it a noble thing done.
But WHO will be there 3 or even 10 years later when that same mother can't care for her child. When that child goes into the foster system. Who's pro-life then?

Where are all of the Chrsitian Pro Lifers who demand abortions stop? What if they did stop? Will these churches and these pro-life fanatics care for an extra 1.3 million children when there are so many in need of care now? 107,011 kids are WAITING to be adopted!
I am not suggesting that abortion is right, I am merely suggesting that the term pro-life shouldn't be tossed around so lightly. Foster families around the nation know what is means to be pro-life.
After this weekend I too know what it means to be pro-life. To really be pro-life.
It's exhausting. It's disruptive. It's challenging. It's wonderful.

Some lessons are truly learned through experience.
To those who really are pro-life, I think you are a hero.


Thank you!

I Can Punch Harder

Okay, so sometimes running a family is stressful. Sometimes you need a break, a day off, a glass of wine...or even a cheap wine cooler and a chick flick will do.
Having a large family is usually great but let's get real. Let's be truthful.
Some days stink.
Some days the baby fusses all day or the kids nit-pick at their food or the dogs bark way too much or maybe NOTHING is going smoothly.

*The baby literally clinging to my legs and fussing*

Some days you just want to throw on the pajamas, lock the doors, turn on the TV and sit and stare.
The blank stare. The "What in the hell is going on today?" stare.

Well, my "what the hell" question was answered this week when DFCS called and asked us to do respite care for another foster family.

* Me and Rosie practice our sad faces*

"...but we didn't sign up for respite!" I exclaimed!

We were hoping for a call about a possible foster-adopt situation but you know what? We are needed NOW. A foster family who has given their all to these kids for the last YEAR needs a much deserved break.

We can do it. We will do it.

*Sometimes the only quiet place to read a book is in the laundry room!*

Back to my "what the hell" moment.
It is a well known and well documented fact (you adoptive families can back this up) that things usually fall apart just about the time an orphan or foster child needs help. It's true.

You have to fight back and say, "Throw your best punch mean devil 'cause I can punch harder!"

Then you must stand back and take notice at all the wonderful good things happening.

 *Willow made a grape vine wreath after I trimmed the muscadines*

Yes, you have 20 loads of laundry but thank goodness there is a machine in the room that washes those 20 loads.
Yep, you are exhausted from yard work and now must cook dinner, but aren't you glad that you have a yard for the kids to play in and food sitting in the fridge and pantry to cook?

Maybe you are ticked off at the less than intelligent and not so prudent social worker at DFCS that you had to deal with, but it is a wonderful opportunity to care for some kids who need a lot of love.

And if there is one thing in abundance with a large family like mine, it's love.

*Me and Rosie practicing our happy faces!*

I will be busy, busy starting tomorrow with three little additions (all under age 5) so I will be back Monday.
In the meantime, go see Katie Davis and read her latest post. I promise you will be happy you did!

Friday Phone Dump (on Thursday!):

Hope your weekend is void of "what the hell" moments!!!!!
Have a GREAT Friday!!!!