It has been a long 2 1/2 weeks since I was here last. Many things have changed for better and worse. That is just the thing...
Better and worse. Joy and sorrow.
I have learned that both these emotions go hand in hand. They are always tangled up together. To have one, you must also have the other.
The joy was plentiful when it came to being with my dad. He was awesome and always took time to help out. He was a bee keeper along side me and we loved talking about the bees. He was a great grandfather to 18 grand kids and 3 great-grand kids! He always made everyone feel special. This is only a glimpse into the joy he brought.
Sadly, he passed away 2 weeks ago, almost 9 months to the date of his cancer diagnosis. Sorrow.
Sorrow is felt by those who felt his joy. They are tangled up together and all I can do is try and hang on to the joy where I can. It is difficult to let the sorrow go and keep only the joy, but that is exactly what I must do.
He was born 5 days after my father's death and 1 week ago yesterday.
He was a healthy 9lbs 8oz and 23 inches long. The birth was at home with family, friends, and a loving midwife. JOY!
Joy that I will hang on to for the rest of my life.
It seems that there is plenty of joy around if you can find the strength to try and look past the sorrow. Oh, I know that deep down the sorrow will always be there, lurking.
Joy and sorrow are always intertwined and to have one, we must also have the other.
For now I will take it one day at a time, for the sorrow is great- which in my mind explains that the joy was great as well.
It has been a long 2 1/2 weeks, and a blurry 2 1/2 weeks as well. I am back.
Here's hoping that you too can untangle the two and hang on to the joy as much as possible.